by Michael Lamptey

Valentine’s Day is upon us once again. Life is busy. Everyone is on the run. Singles have no time to ‘pause and smile’ much less go on a date. Married couples and people in relationships have had to settle for a ‘romantic-less’ routine life. Technology has become a double-edged sword on our necks, making life both simple and complicated. All these and more make us forget to remind our loved ones how much we love and care for them. I am all for a day set aside to celebrate love. However, the over-commercialization of Valentine’s Day, has reduced it into a ‘quid pro quo’ relationship transaction; gift givers expect the absolute guarantee to ‘get laid’ on the day, in return for expensive gifts and vice versa. Then there is the little competition between gift recipients for who got the most expensive gift, the best dining out or the best private yacht cruise. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with all of those if one can afford, except when it’s aroused by peer competition. Sometimes, during all of that, we forget that the best things in life are not only free but also very simple and that love should be celebrated every day. As the day draws near, here are some simple but great ways that I believe both singles and couples can express love beyond the universal breakfast in bed and red roses dinner dates, without even mentioning it so here we go:

  1. “Sweet dreams” after a conversation or a chat.
  2. “Did you sleep well last night?”
  3. Call, text or email to check how well your partner is, if he/she complained about an illness.
  4. On a day that your partner knows you’d be very busy, call simply because you want to hear his/her voice.
  5. “I am off to town, what do you want me to get you?”
  6. “Do you want to wear my hat/jacket, etc.?”
  7. “Let’s eat from the same plate today.”
  8. “Something I saw reminded me of you.”
  9. “I love your new hairstyle/haircut.”
  10. Men–ask for a stroll and hold her hands whilst you are at it.
  11. You know his/her favorite ice cream flavor or candy? Surprise him or her!
  12. Chivalry is not dead. If you’re a man, open doors and pull out chairs for your partner.
  13. For men, let your partner have the best seat at any event you attend.
  14. “You make me proud”.
  15. “You make me look good”.
  16. It’s alright to sing “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran but it’s most important to genuinely love, respect and appreciate your partner’s mind and intellect without which there would be no soul connection. Without soul connection, love is fake and not long lasting, simple.
  17. Surprise your partner with twice of something she asked for.
  18. Earlier in your relationship, your partner mentioned something she/he had always wanted to have or do or somewhere they have always wanted to travel to – If you have the means, surprise her/him with it on a special occasion.
  19. Leave secret love notes in places for them to find.
  20. Write your partner a snail mail once in a while. It works for long-distance relationships especially, but you can send a note to his/her office address.
  21. Read your favorite book together lying on a mat, on the beach, in a garden or wherever you find pleasant.
  22. Cook, clean and do the laundry together. Men—better still, cook sometimes and wash the dishes after a meal even if she enjoys showcasing her culinary skills from her grandma’s recipe book all the time. Even then, be appreciative because it’s not her job, it’s a partnership.
  23. Share his/her favorite song (even if you don’t like that song) on their social media timeline if their privacy settings allow it. If not, share on yours and let them know it’s for him/her.
  24. Play ‘your’ song and dance together in private.photo-1511804269794-309fade1da5d
  25. If you’re skilled in playing a musical instrument, make it a point to play his/her favorite song for him/her now and then.
  26. Ask about her family
  27. “Say hello to your mum.”
  28. Show reasonable respect to their parents or guardians if they are alive. Send them birthday or anniversary wishes.
  29. Set up a scene to let them walk in on you listening to their favorite music even if you don’t like it.
  30. Help them prepare for an interview or test.
  31. Connect them to their dream job opportunity if you have the means.
  32. Wait up ’til they get home even if they tell you they’re going to be late and you should go to bed.
  33. If you have saved something for contingency purposes and they run into a problem which requires the use of your back-up plan, give it up for them.
  34. Men— in a queue, let your partner go ahead of you.
  35. If you know your partner would be very busy at work, surprise them with a takeaway lunch of their favorite dish.
  36. Ask for their opinion on something even if you believe you know it all.
  37. Appreciate his/her friends and don’t play suspicious or jealous. They say a little jealousy is okay, but in actual truth, when you think deeply about it, jealousy is nothing but negative self-love based on the ego’s reaction to losing. Simply put, it’s the ego saying, “Oh no you can’t lose,” when love could instead have said, “I am happy to see him/her happy even if it’s not with me.” I strongly believe that, if you love someone, what makes them happy should be paramount as long as it has no physical/emotional health consequences for both of you.
  38. Give them a long hug especially if you know they have had a hard day at work.
  39. Lose the argument sometimes even if you know you won.
  40. Do the, “I was in the neighborhood” stop by.
  41. Men—let your partner have the last slice of whatever….
  42. Create a Facebook page for an anniversary and boost it to go viral.
  43. Men— always remember her birthday and don’t make a fuss if she doesn’t remember yours.
  44. Let them know you miss them.
  45. Give each other pet names and call each other by it.
  46. Sometimes all your partner needs is a shoulder to cry on, not necessarily a piece of advice. Provide it.
  47. Stand up for them in public even if their action was wrong, then point it out to them later in private.
  48. Have your love song, you know, the kind that reminds you of each other.
  49. Sometimes, spend the whole night just kissing and doing nothing else but that. Yes, you heard right!
  50. This one requires a stroke of luck and involves some risk-taking but walk/travel in the rain/snow to deliver her/his favorite flowers.
  51. If you’re poetic, write them a poem and let them know they inspired it.
  52. Ladies, the truth is, all that most decent men need is for you to be willing to stick with them through ‘thin’ moments. After all everyone loves the ‘thick’ moments, but, whether you’re willing to go the extra mile and believe in his dreams, stick with him if he loses his job or stay with him in his ‘tattered shack’ a real man, no matter how far he may stray, would never, ever leave you.
  53. On Valentine’s Day, starting at midnight, send hourly texts with different messages telling them why you love him/her. IMPORTANT NOTE: In my opinion, this will be more appropriate for married couples or couples who have been in long-term relationships, have known each other for a very long time and are very familiar with each other. You risk coming across as creepy if you apply this method in a new relationship.

The point – Valentine’s Day is great! Celebrate love, by all means, for who in their right mind celebrates hate? But as significant as the day may be, remember it takes more than just one day to express love. It’s the little things you do that matter the most, the free and straightforward everyday actions that build up as attestation of your love for each other. These are not cast-in-stone ideas. I believe we all have different and preferred ways of expressing affection and romance. That said, the list probably isn’t exhaustive so bring it on! I am all ears.



Edited in Lumia Selfie

Michael Lamptey is a social/collaboration entrepreneur, internet marketing guide, web developer and freelance blogger.

 © Copyright Feb 2019 by Michael Lamptey

Photo credits:

Dancing couple – Isaiah McClean@isaiahmcclean

Other photos courtesy of Pixabay and freepick


  1. Great list, Michael. At our house, we have something called “love plates”–a bowl, a lunch plate, and a dinner plate in bright orange (the other dishes are red, blue, green and yellow–but there’s only ONE set of orange). The rules: A love plate or bowl is never used by the person dishing up food–it is always given to the other. It may sound weird, but it’s become a cherished tradition.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good list of things to do. I remember when i was in my late 30’s, sitting at the picnic table outside of the classroom, on a short break. i was attending diesel mechanics school. I was just sitting there and plop, a brown paper bag came from seemingly nowhere right in front of me. Shocked, I quickly looked around to discover James, the love of my life, soul mate was standing there smiling. he had packed me up a nice lunch and I remember to this day the good feelings that brought to me, to realize that someone cared enough about me to do something like this. It really is the little things that count. Thanks for sharing your list.


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