It’s all in the ending, regardless of how it begins, causing water to steam, fire to crackle, earth to heat, air to move.
The elements are angry, my worry stones tell me, as I roll them across my aching fingers, biting at my bones. Heavy bones, tired of the weight I carry, this burden of a love I’m supposed to feel, one that is written and raised, sun pinging off a peeling golden seal, all perfunctorily created in some airy office in California by an hourly clerk I’ve never met. Intimacy marked by agency, diametrically opposed.
What a strange little dance we’ve created, this business of love, that which started from binding twine or ribbon to one-upmanship in millions of dollars in flowers that die, of clear, shiny rocks pulled out of caves on the backs of babies, of twinkly lights that carry no meaning. Yet, if every intimacy of marriage is different, how is it that the human condition of energy and fluid exchange is no different? The song remains the same.
My body moves me forward because that’s where I’m supposed to be. I can’t go back to that silent place of quiet fury and prickly doubt, feeling my worry stones compelling me to go, move, jump, girl! Taking responsibility, blaming myself, for not creating enough crackling fire or earthy warmth, yet in the end it wasn’t about that, really.
It’s not about me, or him, or us. It’s not about shedding the skins of blame, or dusting the detritus of what little clarity remains. It’s about the energy surrounding us, undulating in circular waves and unseen, infinite patterns.
It’s a lie that all the elements work together in unison — they fight for prominence, just as we fight for the one we need, filling our core, giving us life.
I needed air to move.
About Rachel Thompson
Rachel Thompson released the BadRedhead Media 30-Day Book Marketing Challenge in December 2016 to rave reviews.
She is the author of the award-winning, best-selling Broken Places (one of IndieReader’s “Best of 2015” top books and 2015 Honorable Mention Winner in both the Los Angeles and the San Francisco Book Festivals), and the bestselling, multi award-winning Broken Pieces (as well as two additional humor books. Rachel’s work is also featured in several anthologies (see Books for details).
She owns BadRedhead Media, creating effective social media and book marketing campaigns for authors. Her articles appear regularly in The Huffington Post, Feminine Collective, Indie Reader, Medium, OnMogul, Transformation Is Real, Blue Ink Review, Book Machine, and several others.
Not just an advocate for sexual abuse survivors, Rachel is the creator and founder of the hashtag phenomenon #MondayBlogs and the live weekly Twitter chats, #SexAbuseChat, co-hosted with certified therapist/survivor, Bobbi Parish (Tuesdays, 6pm PST/9pm EST), and #BookMarketingChat, co-hosted with author assistant Emilie Rabitoy (Wednesdays, 6pm PST/9pm EST).
She hates walks in the rain, running out of coffee, and coconut. A single mom, she lives in California with her two kids and two cats, where she daydreams of Thor and vaguely remembers what sleep is.
Want an insider peek at her writing and other marketing projects? Join her street team!